I can totally relate to your experience. It reminds me of when I started DJing full time. I was actively DJing every week and actually making my primary wages from it.

Yet for some reason even though DJing was what I wanted to do and being a DJ was what I was hoping for, and I had already been doing it on and off before-I was conflicted.

Even though technically I was doing everything that qualified me to be a DJ, I didn’t feel like one. I felt like a phony. Introducing myself and telling people I was a DJ felt uncomfortable and like some weird lie because I was in this gap between feeling like a real DJ and becoming a real DJ. Just because I was doing it, didn’t make me feel qualified yet.

It took several months for me to finally start telling people that I was a DJ and even then it still didn’t feel totally natural.

Over time the feeling of being an imposter faded and I was able to confidently claim that I was a DJ, but it took a while.

There’s who I THINK I am. There’s who I WANT to be. And there’s who I ACTUALLY am. I’ll be damned if I can figure out which one is which.

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